Dearself

 So, I noticed I nak cari comfort through food again. Tapi I sempat sedar sebelum I act on it. So I stop. Dan it's almost 7pm, meaning I perlukan few more hours before I finally solat maghrib isyak then dah boleh ambil my meds and sleep. Actually, around 8pm I dah boleh start taking my pills.

Somehow, itulah kebaikan yang I nampak bila I ada my secret weapon ni haha. Tapi with meds pun I still terjaga at nights and could still cry. 

I think, the little me got triggered again.

Dah 2-3 hari I tak boleh fokus dengan kerja I.

I on laptop, I hadap dengan kosong. 

..

You know what?

I somehow ternampak that little girl in the darkness. Scared. Alone. 

"Why are you trying to protect me?

It's okay, you can let go. And let God.

You tak perlu nak bertanggungjawab untuk future you, although itu yang you belajar dari kecil, kan? Tanggungjawab.

You know what?

For now on, I will try to manage it, okay?

Maybe we should get you an ice cream. You deserve it, after fighting for you elder self.

Thank you, Ai."