ONE LITTLE TWO LITTLE THREE

 Today I did something that I dislike. I gave them so many things to do as they were not listening! I mean, it's so chaos and I told them if they weren't quiet, I will gave them more things to do. Some of them listen, some didn't. 

However, one of the boys, AZ (I think) could copy the paragraph quite fast and I'm impressed! But for other boys, omg. I didn't want to become a bad teacher seriously, but I just had to. 

I rasa stress dan tertekan sebab the class sebelum ni elok je, entah kenapa harini haywire class tu. Kelas sebelah yang sebelum ni haywire, elok pulak tadi. So I confused. Luckily I was ready with two books dekat class yang bising harini tu. And I also dah prepare nak buat kerja apa for extras but they just didn't able to follow, my bad.

Idk, I don't want to think they're bad students tbh. I used to see potentials in people so I don't want to give up. Somehow, it could be hard sometimes and yea it can drain a lot --- but it doesn't mean we should give up, ain't us?

Masa I nak turun ke bilik guru, I ternampak bangunan PPKI and two of my past kids tengah dekat toilet. It felt like, 'I miss them.'

Yes, it's quite hard to teach them sometimes, cause they're quite slow. But at least they how know to respect people. And I learn a lot from them too.

It made me thinking, cemana nanti aku ada anak sendiri? Kesabaran menghadapi anak-anak PPKI berbeza dengan kesabaran menghadapi anak-anak perdana. Out of sudden it reminds me to someone. Someone who had once hold the key to my heart. 

Maybe the reason He let me teach these kids are for me to learn fasabrun jamil. I mean, the fact that I am now mentally stable, physically pun better, maybe this is to help me becoming a better person, before I kawen.

I mean, I did ask Him to let us (me and future spouse) ready, cause I nak kawen haha. So mungkin ini adalah salah satu cara untuk Dia mempersiapkan saya for the future.

To my future spouse, I'm sorry if you're facing difficulties too, I'm just hoping and praying for the best of you, dan semoga kita semua dapat bersabar dalam mendepani cabaran kehidupan ini. Hahaha. Tiber ayat Bahasa Melayu sangatt >.<

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pst. update: I tadi rasa sangat restless and drained, so I figured maybe I need songs and I listen to TS song You.Are.In.Love and I feel energized balik, cause I'M IMPRESSED again with that song. Ah. Hate it how creative she could write a song that could made me think it was a love song at first -- it was the most breaking-heart song fr. kbye.